Some recycled conversations from March 2005

Subject: RE: Billabong Dreamtime
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2005 22:16:30 +1000
Thread-Index: AcU14S90sEmzDp5qTES7acauVRBoVgACYm2g

Dear Peter

 

Half a point only. All ninja used starknives. There was something distinctive about the starknives used by the fuma ninja. They were not of the design used by Tombe. Next, Shintaro abjured starknives. Samurai did not use such an undignified weapon. Though a projectile did come in handy at times. What did Shintaro use in lieu of starknives?

Also, although you manufactured starknives, did you ever master rapid fire? I was restricted to 1/16 tin. Easy to make, but they rarely stuck into the fence.

Nik

 

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From: herbert garratt [mailto:hwgarratt1952@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, 31 March 2005 8:56 PM
To: Jennifer; Alan_Broomhead; Angelo_Loukakis; Arthur_Gerosovich; Barry_Peak; Brian_Boes; Frank_Del_Duca; Garry_Gibbs; Martin_Kellard; Nick_Nedachin; Pete_Matkevich; Rodney_Horan; Tony_Luck; Travers_Greg John; Wayne_Kent; Young_John
Subject: RE: Billabong Dreamtime

OK! Here goes!

The favourite weapon of the Fuma Ninja was starknives. At the time, thanks to my father being the manager of a large, government, metal-working workshop, I had an endless supply of 3/16" steel boiler plate, hacksaws, files, &c, and a small home w/shop. I could make a starknife, approximately 2" diameter, pentacular in elevation, sharpened on both sides of both aspects of each of the five points, in about ten to fifteen minutes - entirely by hand tools.

After making these (it's a wonder I didn't kill somebody!), I would display my skill with them - usually towards the saw-tooth Dunny door of the outside loo at home - on one occasion when my father was within. The 'thunk' of each starfknife burying itself firmly (and remaining firmly stuck into) the door was extremely satisfying, but the noise startled the old bloke, who threatened all manner of retribution if I continued. Had one gone under, or over, the door, and begun ricocheting about the privvy, God only knows the lacerations it would have inflicted, and where they might have been. All of this can be verified by Greg Travers, to whom I showed these lethal implements.

Shintaro Akikusu's deportment, and athletic skills, as The Samurai, were impeccable, and he may have been the first personage I ever saw wearing a very large ponytail, in complete order (as opposed to the Anglo-Saxon/Viking disordered variety).

Further recollections in the a.k.a. department, mainly amongst the teachers: -

Menzies (up to Third Year Maths Master) = 'Sod'

Biggers (Head, obviously) = 'BigEars'

Glasby (Deputy, equally obviously) = 'Aunty Harry', or 'GlassArse'

Bradford (Science Master up to Forth Year) = 'BarrelGuts'

Henderson (Science, Second to Forth Year) = 'The Little Fella'

Mr. D.F.Condon (God bless him) = 'Denis'

Mr Smith (Science Master, Forth to Sixth Years) = 'RubberNeck' or 'Noddy'

Tom Bercora = 'Tarrrrm' or 'Tom'

Burtenshaw (Latin, for seven or eight hundred years up to our First Year - he not only taught my brother, but also my father!) = 'Snake', 'Snaky', 'The Snake'

Gilhaus (Econmics, Fifth & Sixth Years) = 'Fred'

Joe Rankin (Economics, First to Third Years) = 'Joe'

Ronald Horan (Language Master, God bless him, too) = 'Reg'

Derek Dalgleish (Languages, First to Sixth, I think) = 'Doggie', 'The Dog'

Tony Astle (Languages, First to Sixth?, lovely bloke) = 'Pin'

Derek(?) McCallion (English, First to XXth Years) = 'Piggy'

Mr. Williams (English, Fisrt to Forth Years) = 'Mickey', 'Mickey Rooney', 'Mr. Rooney'

P.P. Steinmetz = 'Steiny', 'Stinky', 'Stinky Steiny'

Wally Mastus (Maths, Fifth & Sixth Years) - 'Wal', 'Big Wal', 'Cluster' (a testicular allusion to his deep voice, I suspect).

I've attached Geoff Parkinson's beautiful poem, shades of Lawson & Patterson there, with apologies to the latter (The Road to Od Man's Town). He sent it to me, and a few others, in reply to the ribaldry I originated, after rolling round on the floor for a quarter hour, after reading his 'I object to the 'AKA' section of "our" website'. It's actually very good, I think, and equally obviously, after my unkindnesses to the Stronso Grosso, directed at me.

There must be more to add. Keep'em comin in, fellas, before the substances convert our brains to mush, along with senility, Alzheimers, and misadventure. Before all those who know are carried to grave, the answers lost in the swirling mists of time, speak your minds!

Cheers,

Pete Dunn

---------------------------------------- cut ----------------------------
Jennifer <nbogduk@bigpond.net.au> wrote:

OK

 

I am in to this.

Earlier on, when planning the reunion, John Young was seeking advice as to what were the popular songs of the time. The thought arrived to me in recent days. A classic of the period must have been: In the year 25 25 .

Now back to the plot. The Samurai was ace value in 1956-1966. Barry needs a spelling lesson. Tombe the Mist was an Iga ninja. The bad guys were, indeed, the Koga ninja, but the other bad guys were the Fuma ninja (not Foomer). Pop quiz: what was the characteristic weapon of the Fuma ninja, and did you make one?

At the reunion, I challenged Geoff Lum Mow on this matter. Geoff was the ninja king. The most enviable skill of the ninja was their ability to jump backwards into the rafter, the corner of a ceiling, or a tree. Geoffrey could do that. There was an area between the woodwork room and the Assembly hall. From the level of the verandah a retaining wall descending to ground level at the back of the assembly hall. In 1964 and 1965, butts was played against the assembly hall wall in that region. Once the Samurai starting playing, Geoffrey exhibited his skills. He could leap backwards up that wall to the woodwork level. Meanwhile Alan Yip went around exhibiting his professed skill at king fu, by poking everyone in the chest with a single index finger.

Nik

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From: herbert garratt [mailto:hwgarratt1952@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, 31 March 2005 5:33 PM
To: b@peak.ws; Alan_Broomhead; Angelo_Loukakis; Arthur_Gerosovich; Brian_Boes; Frank_Del_Duca; Garry_Gibbs; Martin_Kellard; Nick_Nedachin; Nik_Bogduk; Pete_Matkevich; Rodney_Horan; Tony_Luck; Travers_Greg John; Wayne_Kent; Young_John
Subject: Re: Billabong Dreamtime

 

Thank God!

An ignorant pr*ck like me has been relieved of a disturbing gap in my education. And I did f***ing French for six years. Thank you Barry! I knew 'frotteurism' couldn't possibly, in this context, have anything to do with waxing French floorboards - although rubbing does come into it - I suppose.

So it's the practise of rubbing up against people in public! Are these people previously known to the frotteur, or are they complete strangers? There's a range of possibilities here! It offers a possible variation on my standard intro to some nubile young thing, of  - 'I hope you won't be offended by this, but the contrast between your slender waist, and ample bosom, is quite striking!'. One could just frotteurise instead. Or do both!

Consciousness raising substances, lowering inhibitions, as they do, might assist in these frotteruistic experiments. I can't wait. It's probably all caused by watching the frenzied reciprocating action of the Low Pressure Crosshead (the one near the footpath) on AXD-136, as it yo-yo'ed up and down Palace Street, and obvious parallels to sexual endeavours - though, unfortunately, not in my case, with a 14" stroke.

 

I am indebted,

Cheers,

Pete Dunn.

"b@peak.ws" <judgerbean@iinet.net.au> wrote:

Pete & Herb, my dictionary says it's the psychosis (pasttime?) of rubbing up against people in public.

I'd never heard of it till these guys mentioned it, but it sounds like something we can do next year after the reunion if there are any nubile young things in cooee. It could be combined with Dreamtiming near a billabong if anyone brings a bus. I want to sit with the great Koiche Ose and have a chat with him about how many different kinds of Ninja he battled. The only names I remember are Tombe the Mist (good) and Kongo the Koga (bad), but there were Ega Ninjas, Black Ninjas, Foomer Ninjas, Keeshu Ninjas at least. We could chat on idyllicly while people frotteured away and VIc got out his bloodnock, Alan gave Jungle Bob an enema, and you took stock of all the mechanical devices nearby for subsequent instant recall. If his Grace was truly generous, I believe it's possible John Weir could give his "We are all scientists" speech from a branch over the water and Charlie Biggers could moon us from the clouds like the senile old bugger he was on the verge of becoming when they pensioned him off. To top it off, I'd like to hear Nik Bogduk and Leith Morton creating haikus about Tom Bakora very quietly in the distance.

I'm already looking forward to next year.

Cheers, Barry

 

----- Original Message -----

From: herbert garratt

To: b@peak.ws

Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2005 8:57 PM

Subject: Re: Got "up", what to do with it

 

Barry!

I may well be able to remember that the numpler plate on the 1928 Fowler (of Leeds) twin-cylinder, compound-expansion, steam roller, that never stopped rolling Palace Street, was 'AXD-136', but my only reference to 'Frotteurism', so far, has dug up a reference to French floor polishers! What the f*** is a 'frotteur', and if it is a floor polisher, does this have anything do with 'polishing' in other contexts?

I recommend a collective introduction to Native Australian consciousness-raising substances. If we do indulge in these materials -all gratis, provided by His grace, I might add - the recollections would make the Dreamtime seem but a replay of 'The Samurai' (Shintaro Akikusu, and Tombe, the Mist - remember them?), by comparison. Who knows, at such an event, the spirits of long passed torturers - Stinky Steinmetz, Menzies, Bradford, Jones, &c, amy flit surreally through the in and outs of the foliage surrounding the billabong, or wherever we choose to deviate in this way!

 

Cheers,

Pete Dunn.

"b@peak.ws" <judgerbean@iinet.net.au> wrote:

Hey Vic, now I understand more about the Williams/Masters Theory of Man-Toroid Communication. All these emails going back and forward are quite illuminating. I go with the Babich Spoonerism theory, although the name Bretell does act like Quasimodo. And I thought it was Rod, but it must have been you who brought up frotteurism. I had to reach for a dictionary. However imf does seem to have been coined for Mr Brewster if the WMTMTC is true.

I want to nominate Peter Dunn for something but I can't think what. Man whose head is full of more STUFF than I would have thought possible...the number plate on a council truck 40 years ago! I'm not sure why he finds Turd's letter so funny, I'm more amused by Alan's development as a surreal storyteller. Mr Tan - at least the mad maths teacher - threw lots of stuff. He threw small pieces of left over chalk almost every lesson. I got hit once, although he wasn't aiming at me. He threw a duster at least once, he held onto it too long and it hit the floor near his feet - really hard because he was already nearly insane.. The infamous exercisebook-throwing lesson started with him holding a whole arm full of our books and telling us that all our work was woeful. He threw the first couple of books into the air at random in a sort of surrender/disgust amalgam then he started getting angry and threw some books (not necessarily their own) at various people. I don't remember it being Elwell but it could have been.

At the start of one of the later terms that year I remember Mr Gilroy coming into our class and announcing that he wouldn't be coming back and the scuttlebutt was that he was taken to the looney bin.

Do you remember the history teacher who used to twist people's ears all the time? He'd hover behind you while you answered a question until you made a mistake, then whizz, twist of the ear, no marks, no charges able to be laid. He also did a routine with his fists about "The Triple Entente" and "The Triple Alliance". I think he was British.

John, there's an awful lot of emails going around right now. The enthusiasm won't last. What about a quick start forum with a thread for all of these guys and issues. Then everyone can add their own extras. I'm happy to help/administer it, but right now something that everyone can add to would be the most useful thing.

Cheers, Barry

----- Original Message -----

From: Victor Matkevich

To: b@peak.ws

Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2005 1:15 PM

Subject: catch up

 

fun playing silly buggers whatoh

i mean how come im not getting instant remorseful nay joyous feedback....its been hours...bloodnock is the guru of all understanding barry....imbue....inhale...initiate the mantra...oh shit..theyve got me by the arm...........be gentle

maidens

 

as you wake from this trance further research has revealed that imf...inverse metafrotteurism....people who have been treated like objects go on to treat objects like people. since objects according to newton are always aware....imf seems an unlikey reality   however people with imf....lie to themselves believing the objects are unaware and go on to seriously injure themselves

dont say i didnt warn you